Responsibility and duty.
A vow.
The chains of caregiving in a Gordian knot.
Moored to the depths.
Thousands of pounds per square inch.
The light is only a ghost here.
In one eternal moment the chains fell away.
It didn’t take Alexander’s mighty sword.
Just a faulty vein.
She joined the light.
Another ghost.
And from the depths I rose untethered.
The weight fell away.
It felt a little like freedom.
There was light.
It became brighter.
It felt like the darkness fell away.
I broke surface.
And found myself in a vast sea.
At first, elation.
Blue skies. Water like crystal glass.
Endless possibilities.
Then. The realization.
I am adrift.
Marooned.
And then the waves came.
They were harmless at first.
But. A little by little they rose.
Towering waves.
Guilt. Grief. Anger. Loss. Resentment. Confusion.
Loneliness.
Drowning. Under possibilities. Sinking.
Alone.
But I wasn’t.
There were others in the sea.
And they held my head above the water.
Even at their expense.
Even ignoring their own chains dragging them down.
The waves haven’t subsided.
They come frequently still.
But I’m not so often swamped as before.
My feet are touching the bottom.
I’m no longer adrift.
Most of the time.